Battle Inside
Why oh why should I change?
You are mine this way.
Aren’t you happy?
Aren’t I helping you?
Yes and no.
Why does it have to be
Difficult?
Terrifying?
Loving?
And more?
We have known each other for eternity.
We relate.
We shield.
We combine who we are,
That’s why.
I will always be here for you.
I will always comfort you.
I will always defend you.
I know, but I am not happy.
I am not loving and living the way I should.
Why can’t you understand that?
Why shall we fight amongst ourselves over something,
That only I have control of?
We do because you can’t go back.
You can’t block me again.
You need me more than you know.
No I don’t.
You are a comfort,
You are a shield,
You are a way of coping,
And also a way of dealing.
Not what I need,
Not what I want,
But what everyone else wants.
Not me.
Yes but you can’t go back.
You will have no feeling,
No one to lean on,
No one to control your anger,
No one to get you out of trouble.
I need to learn for myself.
You can’t be here forever.
You can’t be my disguise,
If you can’t control me.
You can’t even control my emotions.
You can’t go back.
Yes I can and I will.
It will just take time,
Confidence,
Patience,
And help.
You have none of that.
You can’t even talk to people.
You just sit and zone out.
You can’t even focus without me.
I never can focus.
If you or aren’t with me i can’t.
Don’t use it as an excuse.
Don’t use it as a guilt trip.
How about this.
What are you going to do,
If you get hurt again?
Or torn apart?
Or over anxious?
What are you going to do then?
You can’t go back.
