'Christmas present shopping' I took myself home through the shops To get ideas you see I knew I wouldn't last that long Bent back soon breaking me ***** Shoppers happy, excited smiles Five minutes in for me is miles Try on shoes just for the seat As rest already warn out feet Legs drag heavy, feel like lead Soon I trudge back home to bed ***** Don't know why I tried it So much easier online Through @Amazon I flick With my back pain almost 'fine' Now thumbs beyond out stretching And back support so fetching This old bird is sitting out If it ain't online you're missing out ***** So sorry friends and family This year for Christmas Day If it's not online remotely Or via charge from pal of pay Don't expect it in your stocking Or underneath the tree As this Christmas present shopping Just really ain't for me *****