- As I lay on the couch the pressure was felt To suddenly let rip, man it sure smelt The dog moved away as the odour did rise So I opened the window and let it outside - About the same time an old friend did call I felt so ashamed I hid behind the door Did not let her in on account of the stink I was worried about what she might think - A little while later the pressure was back To let out another from my rear crack Too late did I realise that I needed a poop Sure in trouble when I followed through - Ran to the bathroom holding my arse Once over fifty you can’t trust a fart When this happens you feel such a twit Having to wash undies covered in shit -