George Griffiths
commented on Jun 05, 2018 at 11:20am
Maybe a bit more work on Grammar but apart from that, Well done ;)
k river
commented on Jul 27, 2020 at 1:27am
Hi Rondel,
I believe this is good poem with the message it contains. In the last two lines you appeared to have inadvertently changed the tense of the verb in the line "information is... change the verb "information can be..." to go along with the tense of the rest of the poem. This will not change the meaning of the poem just help it flow better. the last line could be "something valuable offered. The syllable count for this poem should probably be 7 syllables per line because most of the line counts are 7. It is very easy to do just add subtract or change the various words so each line count come out to be 7.
Best regards,
K River
k river
commented on Jul 27, 2020 at 1:27am
Hi Rondel,
I believe this is good poem with the message it contains. In the last two lines you appeared to have inadvertently changed the tense of the verb in the line "information is... change the verb "information can be..." to go along with the tense of the rest of the poem. This will not change the meaning of the poem just help it flow better. the last line could be "something valuable offered. The syllable count for this poem should probably be 7 syllables per line because most of the line counts are 7. It is very easy to do just add subtract or change the various words so each line count come out to be 7.
Best regards,
K River