Cruel Irony
How much longer must I do this,
How much more can I take,
I see the key that could lead to my bliss,
But I am no longer sure if it is real or fake,
I stretch and reach for a light,
My heart fills with song when it grows near,
Yet it is always ripped away, such is my blight,
To see what could have been as the door closes.
Masquerading my pain all the time,
To protect those who are near to me,
Relapsing forever, joy is stymied,
I sit and wonder, how could this cruel irony be?
I tried to wash away all want,
And focus on making the people around me better,
But he tears into my mind and haunts,
Every aspect, detracted, cold apathy my remedy.
It’s the repetition that kills,
Slowly over my life,
Everything fading from anger to thrill,
Dropping ever closer, the edge of a knife,
I know what’s right, and I know what I want to do,
Why do they have to be leagues apart, is the only freedom left to me, to rue?
Is my existence to be nothing more, than this cycle of being let down,
Raised to a blind pinnacle, just to crash and have my mangled psyche be found?
I keep it all in though, cause the only thing that’s worse, is a label,
People writing me off, because with my problem, no one is able,
To help me see that he’s not there, and to help my mind repair,
And all I look for, is a heart to beat next to, and dissolve this agony,
But life laughs at me, tortures me, and lends me no sympathy,
A being, who only cares about others, destined to be alone,
So I’ll have my last thought be the feel of this cold barrel, as I put to sleep this restless drone.
I can’t let them see me like this, or know that he was there,
The man in my head that crushed me, to the point of terror and despair,
That he connects all my pain and anger, and is the root of all my nightmares,
So I’ll say goodbye forever, or else, their hopes, he might tear.
