My Dr. tells me I have a condition that alters my moods on a regular basis. Sometimes I feel good and optimistic, like maybe I can have a good peaceful life. On those days I write, read, go for walks and bake for my kids. On a "low" day, I can't get off the couch, I feel like a complete failure, I can't do anything right. My life will always be hard and I will remain unhappy forever. This has been my life for as long as I can remember. My heart is tired, I want to be "normal" but don't really know what that is. How can I ever live good peaceful life, when I'm constantly on a roller coaster? How much can my Dr. help me with medications and counseling? I have reached the point where I realize I have nothing...nothing else but the Lord to hold my hand in this world. He is the only one I can count on, he is the only one who comforts me regardless of my failures. My everlasting love for him is the only comfort I can rely on. No matter how much people claim to love me, somehow they always hurt me.