Life without me

                             Chapter 1: Intro
           Um...hi I guess you are really reading this then. Well my name is Diana Johnson. I’m sixteen and my birthday is on July thirteenth. I have long wavy black hair with blood red highlights. I have dark brown colored eyes and I’m really thin. I go to a high school called, Winter High. I am a  junior in high school. I have on friend and her name is Lily Smith. I am madly in love with the most popular guy in school. He is also a huge jerk but I still love him. He has always been horrible to me so I don’t know why I love him so much. But I do, he actually lives next door to me.
            His name is Shawn Cooper. Shawn has a girlfriend right now and her name is Bella Peters. Shawn has so many friends it’s hard to count. But including Bella he has three close friends. Max Brown, Bella Peters, and Lexi Reed. Lexi and Max are dating by the way. But enough about them let me get back to talking about me. My mom is dead she has been for four years now. My dad is still alive, which is horrible. He is very abusive! He makes me live in the cold dark stone basement. All I have in the basement is a mattress,pillow,blanket, dresser, lamp, clothes, an outlet, a charger, my phone, and my laptop. That’s pretty much it.
            Everytime I come home there are a few things I can count on happening. One, walking through the door and after walking two feet. Getting a big wooden piece of wood slammed into my back. Because my dad always does this to me. Two getting brought into my dad’s office and getting the living shit beat out of me. Now you can see how my home life sucks. 
          Outside of my house I get bullied, beat up, teased, etc. I also hang out at Lily’s house. I also hang out at a underground roller skating rink called Baker’s Rink. It is a great place for people who don’t fit in to hang out. It has been in the Baker’s family ever since roller skating was invented. My mom hung out here as a kid and so did my grandma, great grandma, and my great great grandma. Baker’s Rink is really the only good place I know. Besides Lily’s house of course. I mean I love roller blading! There is a free snack bar, free arcade, couches everywhere, TV’s, etc. I know I said my only friend is Lily. but I mean I guess I kinda have friends at the rink.
               I mean I don’t hangout with them outside the rink. But most everyone there is nice to me and treats me like there friends. They talk and hangout with me to. At the rink of course. But at school they might as well not even know me or Lily. My life as you can see besides the rink my life is horrible!!!!! I have depression, I cut myself, and I’m suicidal. Life isn’t worth living in my opinion. Anyway let’s get to now! Like what I am doing now the present day, present moment, whatever.
                             Chapter 2:
             I look around my cold stone room. Every wall in there is stone. It looks and might as well be a dungeon. I roll up my right sleeve and look at my wrist. As usual my wrist has many many cuts. Caused by myself mostly. I walk over to my dresser and I reached into the first shelf. I then grabbed a black leather bag with a skull picture on it. I sit on my bed and reach inside. I carefully pull out my knife. It was a nice knife it had a black handle and a silver sharp blade. That shined in the sunlight and the moonlight. 
              I then started cutting my wrist again. I was used to the pain it caused and it was strangely calming. Blood dripped from my wrist and into the small metal bucket below my wrist. Once I was done I wiped my wrist off and covered my wrist with my sleeve. I then put my knife away and into my backpack. Then I grabbed some lunch and dinner. Then I went to the kitchen upstairs. Then I quickly grabbed an apple, donut, and some trail mix. The I walked out the door. But before I stepped outside my dad hit me in the stomach with the big piece of wood.
              It hurt like hell but I just had to shake it off and walk outside. I walked to the driveway where the car my mom had bought me four years ago before she died. I got in and drove to school. My car was a black mini cooper. It had a good radio and I always had a bag full of stuff packed in the trunk. Just in case I needed to spend the night at somewhere. Which was normally the case. I got into the car and drove to school.
              Once I got to school I rushed over to my first class. Trying to avoid anyone who might want to be mean to me or hurt me. When I got to the classroom I rushed in and took a seat. Lily was already in the class in the seat in front of me. I of course was very depressed and very suicidal as usual. I mean everyone would be able to see that by looking at me. When Lily heard me sit down she turned around. She looked at me concerned then passed me a note. The one thing you should know about Lily is that she isn’t like me. She doesn’t have depression, she isn’t suicidal. She has a good home life.
                She doesn’t cut herself. She doesn’t smoke or do anything bad like that. She has a pretty good life. I really don’t know why she wants to be friends with me. But I’m very glad she does. Anyway her note said “ please say you didn’t cut yourself today!!! Please say you didn’t smoke again either!!!”. I looked at the note and shook my head. Then wrote back “ I did smoke last night and I did cut myself again. Sorry but I’ll do it if I want to!”. I passed her the note she frowned. Before she could write back class started. A few hours later it was lunch and Lily and I walked over to the cafeteria to get our food.
                We quickly got our food and went out to the parking lot and ate our food in my car. We ate for a little then the most popular group walked up to us. There were four of them Shawn ( the guy I’m madly in love with). Max and Lexi who are dating. And Bella who is Shawn’s current girlfriend!!! They all smirked at us and then Bella said “ hey! get out of that junk! Now!”. we walked carefully out of the car. Then I said “ back off Bella!”. Bella looked mad then said to Shawn. “ You aren’t just going to let her get away with saying that to me! Are you?”. Max smiled and said “ yeah let’s beat them up!”.
                Shawn smirked then said “ yeah there is no way! These two losers are getting away with that!!!”. He then punched me in the stomach where I had been hit this morning. With the piece of wood. Then they all started beating us up. We of course fought back. But they as we very well knew were way stronger than us. Once they were done they walked off laughing.
              We stood up with lot’s of scrapes, bruises, and places that were swelling. We got back in my car and sat down silently eating and crying. Then I said “ Lily promise me something!”. She looked at me with tears coming down her cheeks. And said “ what is it?”. I smiled a little then said “ if either of us almost dies and is in a coma or something. That we will do what they did in the movie If I Stay. Where we will talk to the one of us who is in a coma. And give them updates to what is going on. Show the one who is in a coma video’s and pictures and stuff like that. Promise?”.
                 Lily laughed a little and said “ sure! of course! but that will hopefully never be necessary!!!”. I shook my head and in my head I thought. “ It might be necessary!”. But allowed I said “ yeah!...”. The rest of that day went by pretty fast. I went home and got the shit beat out me. Then I went down stairs to my basement bedroom. I then cut myself and smoked a lot. Which was fun! Then I texted Lily for a while. Then I went to sleep crying as usual. 
                              Chapter 3: A month later
              By this time I was way more suicidal. I had been making more and more and more plans. About my death because I couldn’t I just couldn’t  live anymore!!! I am sick of the teasing, getting beat up,etc. No one knows this but I plan on jumping off a bridge into a river with a pretty ruff current tonight. I already wrote my suicide note for Lily. After I went to school I went home got beat up for hopefully the last time.
            Then I hanged out in my basement room for a while. Once it got dark I sent Lily my suicide note. Then I drove out to the bridge. The sky was dark blue and the wind blew through my hair. It was a peaceful night. I was happy that it was my last. When I arrived I sighed and parked my car. I was extremely nervous and scared. But I knew that I was going to do this! I parked my car and walked on to the bridge. The river was loud and it rushed under the bridge. I sat on the railing of the bridge thinking. I knew I was going to do this but I also knew that . I wanted to sit here for a bit before I did.
            Then out of the blue Lily’s car shows up. I swore under my breath! I thought she wouldn’t read my text till later. Lily ran up to me with tears running down her face. I looked at her annoyed then she yelled. “ Diana!!! Get off of there! Please! Come home with me!!! Don’t do this!”. I stared at her blankly then said “ I can’t! I don’t want to live anymore!!!! I’m sorry but I can’t!”. Lily looked horrified and worried she then said still yelling. “ Don’t you dare kill yourself Diana! Your life will turn around I know it will! Trust me!!!!”. I climbed on to the ledge of the bridge and said. “ I’m sorry Lily! But this is goodbye! Please turn away!!! Goodbye”. Then I jumped Lily screamed and ran to the edge. 
               I fell down and down. The wind rushed making a weird loud noise. I finally landed in the water, water flooded into my mouth and my nose. All I did was focus on letting the water. Fill my lungs and letting it kill me. But then my head hit of a rock and I passed out. After a while I woke up!!! Well sorta I sat up on the edge of the river. I stood up disappointed. I hadn’t died at least I thought I hadn’t. I looked down at the ground and then jumped back and swore. I saw my body laying on the ground and Lily was shaking me.
             I was pale and soaking . I realized right then that I must be in a coma! I sighed and thought “ great now I’m basically that girl in If I Stay!!!”. After a few minutes of Lily screaming in my ear and shaking me. I heard a siren I turned around and saw. An ambulance rushing into the parking lot. Once the ambulance parked a lot of paramedics come rushing over. Lily gave them some of my basic information. Then they checked me to see if I was alive. Lily had clearly been crying for over an hour now. I felt really bad for her. 
             She looked at one of the paramedics and said in a shrill tone. “ Will she be okay?!?!”. The paramedic said “ she is in a coma right now! She will most likely be fine!”. Lily nodded then whispered in my ear. “ I promised you that I would do the whole If I Stay thing. So I will!”. I looked stood beside her and my body and gave a small smile. I was so annoyed and upset that I had survived. But I was glad that Lily was honoring the promise. The paramedics rushed me well my body. To the hospital, Lily rode in back with me. Well with my body and me. When we arrived I was rushed into a room. Where I was transferred into a bed. Lily had to walk out and call her parents telling them what was going on. Then a doctor put a oxygen mask on me. I started to feel the air pump through me.
               Which was very weird. I just sat in one of the chairs and slept. I had gotten very bored just watching myself in a coma. When I woke up I looked at a clock on the wall of my hospital wall. It was around three o’clock. School had gotten out a half hour ago. Lily sat beside me who was still in a coma. I walked over to her and she said. “ Hey Diana, I don’t know if the whole. If I Stay thing is real but Shawn made a speech at the assembly today. That I thought you should see.” She then pressed the play button on her phone.
              Shawn walked up on stage and started speaking. He said “ Hi everyone as you all know my name is Shawn Cooper”. Everyone cheered then he said “ as you all also know I am the most popular guy in school. But today isn’t like that. I hate all the responsibilities that come with being popular!!! I mean I have to bully, tease, and beat up people. Just to keep my reputation! I feel so incredibly bad for doing that!!!”. Everyone gasped then he continued. “ I hate dating a girl I hate and having friends I also hate! But most of all I hate beating up, bullying, teasing, etc The girl I’m madly in love with!!!”.
                 Everyone’s mouths dropped open. “ I have lived next door to this girl for several years. Now but all I have done is make her life a living Hell!!!! And I hate myself for doing that! I feel like it is mostly my fault that she has depression and is suicidal!!!! I am so sick of being a total dick! Just to be popular! I love Diana so so so much!!!! I don’t care if that means I’m not popular anymore. Or if that means I’m a quote and quote loser!”. Bella was now crying and everyone just sat there shocked. He then said “ I really hope Diana is her right now! So she can know how I feel!”.
                “ I know that I have made her life a living Hell! And I know she probably hates me and wants nothing to do with me. Because how I have treated her. And I know I deserve her rejection. But if you do love me Diana Johnson I hope you will be mine. Even though you are way out of my league and I don’t deserve an amazing girl like you! You mean everything to me!!!”. Lily then ran on stage and whispered something in his ear. As soon as I saw her do that in the video I knew what she had said. Shawn’s face turned pale then very bright red and tears poured down his face. Then threw sniffles he said.
               “ I just...was told that… Diana tried….to...kill herself...Last night!....She is now… at the hospital….In a coma!!!”. Everyone covered their mouths and gasped. Then  he said still crying “ I need to go!!!!!!!!”. Then Lily and Shawn ran out of the door and the video ended. I just stood beside Lily and body shocked and crying. My mind was racing. Shawn loved me he really loved me! Why on earth would he love me?!?! Then I heard loud footsteps running down the hall and Shawn ran in with tears running down his face!. Lily moved out of his way and he grabbed a chair and sat next to my hospital bed. He held my hand and said “ I am so so so so so so so sorry Diana!!!!! I love you so much!!!! I never wanted this to happen never!!!”.
                  “ I am so glad that you are at least alive!!!! Please wake up Please!!! If you do I promise! You can live with me or Lily! I will treat you the best way possible!!! I will love you more then anyone could love anyone!!! I will care for you and I will be there. I will make your life worth living! Please wake up!!!”. I gave a small smile looking at him next to my body. He then said “ please don’t slap me for doing this!”.He leaned down and kissed me! It felt so good and I was for the first time in five years happy! For once I felt like I had a chance at happiness.
              I then opened my eyes and woke up from my coma. Shawn had looked at Lily after he kissed me. So neither of me saw that I had woken up. I smiled and sat up I tapped his shoulder. He spun around in surprise. I then pulled him close and started kissing him. He was so surprised that I was even awake that he didn’t kiss me back at first. But after a few seconds he started kissing me back. Then I pulled away and said “ I love you too Shawn!!!!!”. Shawn was now crying and had a huge smile on his face. Then said “ how do you even know I love you?!?! You were in a coma the whole time!”.
            Lily’s mouth dropped then she said “ wait Diana! Is the If I Stay thing real?!?!”. I smiled and nodded and said “ yeah it is! I saw the video of Shawn’s speech yesterday. I also heard  and felt everything everyone said or did!”. Shawn’s mouth opened and said “ oh yeah I saw that movie!”. I nodded then he said “ so I guess that’s a yes… To being my girlfriend???”. I nodded and said “ yes it is Shawn!!! Why else would I have kissed you???”. He laughed and said “ yeah! I just can’t believe you are even alive!!!”.
             I nodded and said “ uh yeah I am I do and don’t wish that I was though!!!”. Shawn and Lily frowned then Lily said “ don’t say that! You will now have a way better life!!! Can’t you see that?!?! You now have an amazing caring and loving boyfriend! A very good best friend if I say so myself! You don’t have to live at your dad’s anymore. Your dad won’t be able to beat you up anymore. You will have a new great home at Shawn’s! You will have a home a proper room. Not just a cold stone basement. You will have way better food and a family! You will most likely have a better school life too!”.
              Shawn’s mouth was dropped open and before I could say anything. He said “ wait what?!?! Your dad beats you up?!?! Your bedroom is a cold stone basement?!?! What! I didn’t know that!!!!”. I nodded and said “ well why would you?! All you had time for was to make out with Bella and beat me up!”. Shawn nodded and said sounding guilty. “ Yeah...I guess I wouldn’t know that! And I deserve every grudge you have against me!”. I nodded then Lily said “ will you please never try to kill yourself again!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
              I sighed and said “ I probably won’t but I can’t promise anything!”. Lily and Shawn nodded they wouldn’t be able to convince me otherwise. Then a nurse rushed in and checked me. Then said “ well it’s nice to see that you are up!!! You will be able to leave in an hour. We just need to fill some paper work out. Where are you going to be living?”. I looked Shawn and said “ I will be living at Shawn’s house. I think…”. Shawn nodded and said “ yeah she will be living with me and my mom and dad.” The doctor nodded and said to Shawn “ okay well then your parents will need to sign some things. Okay?”. 
        Shawn nodded and said “ they are in the lobby! they can sign whatever they need to sign!”. The doctor nodded and left. A few minutes a police officer walked in. He smiled and said “ so Diana. We have now arrested your father. He is now going to prison! We just thought you might want to know that!”. My face lit up and then I said “ really?!?! That’s great!”. The officer nodded and said “ yeah! Well I have to go but I hope you are better off with out him!”. I nodded then he left. I spent the next hour kissing Shawn, talking to Lily and Shawn, talking to doctors,etc. Once the hour was up I was allowed to leave. Shawn and I took my car that had been brought to the hospital to his house. Lily rode in Shawn’s parents car back to her house.
             Later that night I was laying down for the first time happy next to Shawn. In his bed he smiled at me then we went to sleep. And I never ever thought I would say this but I lived happily ever after!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
                                 The End !!!
            
               
                                      
        
      









                                                                                                   

Tags: sad, depressing,