I look up, and I realize it. This is it. This is what my mother and father have been training me for my whole life. The one thing they could actually be proud of. The one thing I knew I was meant to do. But I didn't know how. How was I supposed to finally get my parents to smile at me? To love me? Say they're proud of me? Speak kindly to me? It a came down to this. Then I would finally get all those things. Everything in my life that I have ever wanted was within my grasp. And I didn't know how to grab it. Should I go on?