Letting Go... .Based upon when a monster calls movie Jude kyrie She was sick that I knew Being caught between boyhood and manhood did not make me blind. They cut my hair off tonight honey. It's ok mom you are still the most beautiful woman in the world. You are such a charmer honey The girls are going to love you. I only want you to love me mom Only you. Everyone noticed I could not sleep anymore Want to talk about anything? the school nurse said. No maam I said. Then the nightmares The tree huge and everlasting tree outside my bedroom window. It walked when I fell asleep. It's fingers like twigs pulled me from my bed It lifted me to its roaring mouth. Fires glowed within I am not afraid I said. But I just don't know how much I was afraid. You are going to share your deepest fears it roared. But still I kept silent not showing him anything. No fear. .Mom I need to sleep with you I take her the meds Just for five minutes honey. I feel so sick sweetie. Your Ok mom You will get better. Your hair will. Grow again. Call your dad He's in L.A I know with the sister I never met. And the lady I dont want to know. Shhhssssss it's OK. Then he came again made of roots and leaves and twigs. He picked me up like a Bird in the next. Tell me your truth. he roared I have none I wailed. But I did.....I did..I did Grandma called she was as cold as ice Some things never change. You need to come to my place she said Got there it was full of China figurines I am going to the hospital don't touch anything But the tree monster came again I was so angry smashed all of grandma's stuff. Wheb she arrived back home the place is wrecked She does not give me the licking I deserved. Instead I heard her weeping in her bed. The monster came again that night It's time for your pain tell me it said. I don't have pain, I lied Tell me or you will be crushed by my limbs it threatened. I....I.....I want to tell her to let go But that's my fear It would be my fault you see. What do I do? You tell the truth the monster said Only the truth. I got back to grandma's place. I looked at her She kind of looked like mom.....But older I just got a call from the hospice she said We have to hurry We got to go there? At the railroad tracks we were stopped. By a freight train Grandma said We are very different people you and me. I said I know grandma But we are going to have to get along I said I know grandma. She said of course you do. We got to the hospital The nurse was solunm Go right in, its OK. She was dying I knew it. Mom held my hand I felt the monster behind me. It whispered in my ear I am here with you. What do I do? I said. Tell the truth of the ages since time began. The one that comes from the inside of your heart. I squoze her hand tight I said It's OK mom. It's OK to go. I will be ok. I promise. A giant heavy weight fell from my heart I was truthful finaly. I remember the last movement of my mother hand It faded away softly Unlike my memories of her love. But when we got back to grandma's place. I cried and grandma held me to her breast. I said I am so sorry grandma For breaking your stuff. She pulled me closer I know honey. It doesn't matter. Yo are all that matters now. I love you honey. I said softly I love you too grandma.